1. Switch on 3 hot taps at once

2. Turn central heating up by 1°C (wait 'til Trevor is out of building)

3. Check water tank in loft, especially if pigeons are present

4. Check the boiler in Despatch

5. Find Shaun (G5) and ask him to stop using hosepipes

6. Check Bore Hole is off

7. If anyone is sat on the loo, instruct them NOT to flush

8. Switch off all overhead sprinklers in top tunnels and glasshouses

9. Run down to the farm at the bottom of the hill, knock on the door and politely ask them not to run any hot water for the time being

10. Return to the office and ring United Utilities on 0345 672 2888 and inform them that you expect hot water soon. They will then send out a bulletin.

11. See action number 5

12. Return to the toilets and Bingo!!! Hot water.....

13. If point number 12 fails, ring a good plumber!

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